{"id":1458,"date":"2026-08-15T04:11:22","date_gmt":"2026-08-15T04:11:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1458"},"modified":"2026-08-15T04:11:22","modified_gmt":"2026-08-15T04:11:22","slug":"camping-as-a-voluntary-renunciation-of-civilization","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1458","title":{"rendered":"Camping as a Voluntary Renunciation of Civilization"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I<\/span>n summer, we reconnect with the caveman within. Some people bring him out in other ways, but that\u2019s not the point of this article. During the rest of the year, the comfort of home keeps us rested and healthy enough to deal with work and domestic life. Then vacation comes, and for some inexplicable reason we seek out whatever makes us most uncomfortable, exhausted, stressed, and miserable. In other words, we go looking for a campsite.<\/p>\n

Read more Five Quick Things: Yes, Enes Kanter and Royce White, That Is the Way<\/a><\/p>\n

Of all the extreme activities people engage in during the summer, camping may well be the craziest of them all.<\/p>\n

Materials<\/h3>\n

The first home was a tent. It was made of branches, logs, leaves, and animal hides. It can\u2019t have been very comfortable, because as soon as humans could, they discovered agriculture and animal husbandry and got out of there as fast as they could, around 9,000 BC. From then until the nineteenth century, nobody (absolutely nobody) did anything as stupid as sleeping in a tent in the middle of the woods. This unfortunate trend began in Britain, led, naturally enough, by naturalists (the same people who love sunbathing naked), who took to the hills carrying heavy canvas tents. After the Second World War, camping became fashionable, and, surprisingly, not just among prisoners. Suddenly, everyone seemed willing to spend several weeks each year giving up a solid house with running water, electricity, and protection from our natural predators.<\/p>\n

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The fly was born to annoy man. The mosquito was born to kill him.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

Setting Up a Tent<\/h3>\n

To set up a tent, the first thing you should do is pitch it on level ground. But \u201clevel ground\u201d doesn\u2019t exist, so as soon as you discover this for yourself, life presents you with a unique opportunity to make a phone call and book a suite at a luxury hotel. If you still insist on putting up your tent, start assembling the poles (I don\u2019t know what they are, but you\u2019ll surely find something pole-shaped in the bag) and insert them into the frame (I don\u2019t know where that is either, but if you can find the poles, you\u2019ll surely be able to find some empty pole-shaped holes).<\/p>\n

Next, raise the tent and secure it to the ground with the pegs. This is the trickiest part, because it\u2019s only when the tent is standing that you realize it looks absolutely nothing like the manufacturer\u2019s product photo. Survival tip: if your tent resembles a menopausal turtle, don\u2019t panic; that\u2019s exactly how it\u2019s supposed to look. Finally, you\u2019re supposed to attach the rainfly and guy lines, but honestly, nobody without an abundance of free time bothers. By then you\u2019ve spent two hours wrestling with the thing in the blazing sun, and all you want to do is crack open a beer and sit back to admire your turtle.<\/p>\n

Living With Bugs<\/h3>\n

At a campsite there are two kinds of living creatures: those who pay rent and obey the weathered list of rules hanging on the bathroom door (that\u2019s you), and the squatters who couldn\u2019t care less (insects, small rodents, birds, and the occasional reptile). Just as in modern democracies, although you\u2019re the one who ought to have rights, it\u2019s the squatters who enjoy complete freedom. Confronting them would be a mistake. There are more of them, they know the territory better than you do, and they\u2019re carrying far more poisonous ammunition. Your best strategy is to convince them you\u2019re all friends. Perhaps you could even hold their hands and invite them to say an Our Father together.<\/p>\n

Hygiene<\/h3>\n

Experts believe that if a campsite bathroom doesn\u2019t have a three-centimeter layer of mud on the floor, it isn\u2019t a \u201creal campsite.\u201d That\u2019s probably why nobody bothers cleaning them. The last time I took a shower at a campsite, I came out noticeably dirtier than when I went in. The naturalists who invented this pastime are fascinated by filth because, they say \u2014 or so I think \u2014 it helps them connect with nature. Personally, call me old-fashioned, but I\u2019d rather connect with soap than with humus, however fashionable that disgusting substance may have become in expensive restaurants where supermodels eat (in case you\u2019ve ever wondered why they\u2019re so thin: they obviously stir it around, but they don\u2019t actually eat it).<\/p>\n

Read more Karoline Leavitt Stepping Down As White House Press Secretary<\/a><\/p>\n

Climate Enemies<\/h3>\n

Modern houses are designed to protect you from rain, wind, heat, and almost everything else nature can throw at you. Tents are not. When your tent develops ten leaks at once and frogs start hopping across your stomach at dawn, thank God you were born in the 20th or 21st century rather than 10,000 B.C. Camping has only one redeeming quality: it inevitably makes you thank God for everything that makes life more comfortable back in the city. You\u2019ll also pray for help when a bear eats your backpack. And by the second night, you\u2019ll definitely be praying to get back home as soon as possible. You might even make it back home a saint.<\/p>\n

Making Friends<\/h3>\n

There\u2019s nothing heavier in the world than a die-hard camper. If you put a pile of uranium on one side of a kitchen scale and an equally sized pile of die-hard camper on the other, the uranium would be launched into the air. This simple lesson in density, weights, and measures should be enough to discourage you from making friends with the people in the next tent.<\/p>\n

Survival Kit<\/h3>\n

I suppose you should pack mosquito repellent, snake antivenom, a couple of bears (they say that if you bring your own, the others won\u2019t come into your tent), a knife, a compass (even if you don\u2019t know how to use one, it looks terrific in selfies), a bottle opener, and several cases of beer. But to tell you the truth, the more beer you pack, the less important everything else becomes, until it becomes completely dispensable.<\/p>\n

Mosquitoes<\/h3>\n

The fly was born to annoy man. The mosquito was born to kill him. It\u2019s true that, in principle, a mosquito, which weighs about three milligrams, wouldn\u2019t have an easy time killing you in hand-to-hand combat, but its bite, if it\u2019s repeated often enough and on enough parts of your body, can irritate you so much that you lose your mind and end up getting yourself killed doing some perfectly ordinary and harmless countryside activity, like changing a shotgun cartridge or lighting the gas on a camping stove.<\/p>\n

Going Home<\/h3>\n

One night at a campsite is painful. Two nights are twice as painful. Three nights amount to a worrying display of masochism. From the fourth night onward, there are only two possibilities: either you die, or you become a Bushman and never want to go home again. I\u2019ve never spent more than one night at a campsite, and even now, 30 years later, I still regret having spent that wretched night. What possessed me to give up my hot bath, clean sheets, and cold beer at home? Everything we\u2019ve ever been told about ourselves is a lie: man a thoroughly irrational animal. All right, but if you gave me the choice between magically ending poverty in the world or getting rid of campsites, I\u2019m terribly sorry about everything that\u2019s happening in Africa\u2026 but you know.<\/p>\n

Read more JFK, the Berlin Wall, and a Cold War Failure<\/a><\/p>\n

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Why All Leftism Is Now Far Left<\/strong><\/p>\n

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BREAKING! Gen Z Haz Sad Because 2 Poor 2 Date<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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