{"id":1259,"date":"2026-08-01T04:15:05","date_gmt":"2026-08-01T04:15:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259"},"modified":"2026-08-01T04:15:05","modified_gmt":"2026-08-01T04:15:05","slug":"meet-the-five-species-of-summer-celebrity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259","title":{"rendered":"Meet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

I<\/span>n summer, the famous emerge from their television lair. They appear dressed in summer clothes, which often consist of no clothes at all. They leave the places where they spend the rest of the year and settle in international celebrity hotspots, or else mingle with those who are not of their own species. You might spot them, you might even photograph them, and afterwards their bodyguards might break your ribs to take the pictures away.<\/p>\n

Read more Fifth Amendment Fauci\u2019s Narcissism Destroyed Faith in Scientific Methodology<\/a><\/p>\n

The Careless One<\/h2>\n

You\u2019ll recognize the Careless Celebrity (nobilis homespun<\/em>) because he spends the summer in the countryside and tries to dress like a beggar. Ripped trousers, grey clothes, a worn-out T-shirt, a cap pulled low and sunglasses. During the holidays he washes only in the sea and is capable of eating in the filthiest places. It makes him \u201cfeel like a man,\u201d he often brays.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

When the police ask him to blow into the breathalyser, the nobilis superbi first scolds them for having driven their patrol car the wrong way down the street.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n

But then, suddenly, he gets tired of it, heads for the best restaurants in the area, and that\u2019s when the trouble starts, because the owners reserve \u201chis\u201d table for him even when there\u2019s no room. Someone photographs him looking like that, the pictures end up on social media, and the gossip magazines start wondering whether his apparent destitution is the result of a painful breakup or whether he\u2019s gone completely broke. And that\u2019s how the summer celebrity magazines boost their ratings at the expense of the Careless Celebrity.<\/p>\n

He doesn\u2019t pick anyone up, he doesn\u2019t make business deals, he doesn\u2019t mix with the local rich, and he feels uncomfortable everywhere. Dragged along by friends, he may eventually go out for a drink, but there in the bar \u2014 dressed as he imagines farmers dress for a night out \u2014 those little orange mirrored sunglasses poking out of the pocket of his threadbare waistcoat give him away. Before long he\u2019s surrounded by aspiring summer flings. He panics, apologizes and leaves, wondering what he did wrong and how they\u2019d managed to recognize him, as he climbs into the Ferrari he left parked opposite, right in the middle of the orchard.<\/p>\n

The Natural One<\/h2>\n

She, the queen of Botox, decides to embrace natural beauty. Perhaps to give her skin a rest from a year\u2019s worth of cosmetics, perhaps in the hope of going unnoticed. She heads out first thing in the morning wearing those hideous leggings that ought to make the heavens burst into a great storm of fire until not a single pair remains anywhere on Earth. She hums to herself, wanders around the village supermarket, and displays the deterioration of her charms with such unnatural naturalness that she leaves a trail of fainting spells wherever she goes. She is the Natural Celebrity (nobilis implumem<\/em>), who so often transforms herself after removing the millions of artificial enhancements she wears on magazine covers all winter that, instead of becoming unrecognizable, she becomes inconceivable. She spreads dread, terror, chaos, and destruction wherever she sets foot.<\/p>\n

The Spherical Celebrity<\/h2>\n

The Spherical Celebrity (Celeberrimum CCCLX<\/em>) is famous in all 360 degrees, all year round. It has no sex. That is to say, it exists in both male and female forms. It turns up at parties impeccably wrapped in its own fame, radiating overwhelming elegance and making no effort whatsoever to avoid the cameras.<\/p>\n

The female, like the official Princess of Summer, glides through the most luxurious nightclubs and, after one drink too many, announces, \u201cOh! I think I\u2019ve had one drink too many.\u201d Then she faints with enormous dignity, still clutching her glass. But only with that graceful way of collapsing possessed by certain celebrities, folding elegantly to the floor while her long, exquisite dress folds neatly beneath her.<\/p>\n

Read more The FCC Pulls the Plug on Beijing\u2019s Bots<\/a><\/p>\n

The Spherical Celebrity never mixes with ordinary people. It seeks food, entertainment and, during mating season, other members of its own species. It can be seen in the most exclusive clubs in Ibiza or Cannes, picking up the bill for the prettiest women and lying to them with effortless elegance, like Pierce Brosnan in Remington Steele<\/em>.<\/p>\n

The Spherical Celebrity finishes the summer exhausted by so many parties and locks itself away until the Christmas galas, where it sports exactly the same tan it had on the first day it set foot on the beaches of the French Riviera seven months earlier.<\/p>\n

The Nobilis Superbi<\/h2>\n

The DYKWYTT Celebrity is my favourite. Its academic name is the Do You Know Who You\u2019re Talking To?<\/em> Celebrity<\/em> (nobilis superbi). The initials stand for its battle cry. He bellows it at waiters in beach bars when they make him queue, at jellyfish after they\u2019ve stung him, and at traffic officers who ask for his licence after catching him drunk behind the wheel.<\/p>\n

When the police ask him to blow into the breathalyser, the nobilis superbi first scolds them for having driven their patrol car the wrong way down the street. He keeps returning to this point again and again before solemnly agreeing to do as he\u2019s told. Then he blows enthusiastically into his beer bottle, and afterwards tries to take a swig from the breathalyser. In particularly severe cases, he complains to the officer that nothing is coming out.<\/p>\n

He struggles whenever he finds himself surrounded by people who don\u2019t share his sense of superiority. During an argument between two boats \u2014 a common occurrence in marinas \u2014 somewhere away from the glamorous waterfront, the DYKWYTT Celebrity takes only seconds to climb onto the bow, lean majestically towards the enemy vessel and roar his battle cry at some elderly sailor:<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you know who you\u2019re talking to?\u201d<\/p>\n

To which the old sailor calmly replies, ending the argument on the spot:<\/p>\n

\u201cYes. Some idiot off the telly.\u201d<\/p>\n

The DYKWYTT Celebrity immediately goes crimson, flails his arms like a Pilates instructor high on cannabis, slips, bangs his head on one of those yacht fittings apparently designed for breaking your neck, and falls into the sea.<\/p>\n

The old sailor fishes him out.<\/p>\n

The Camouflaged One<\/h2>\n

This is the speciality of great Hollywood actors when they go on holiday. They avoid contact with fans by disguising themselves with bizarre clothes, inexplicable hairstyles, and unimaginable accessories. This is the Camouflaged Celebrity (nobilis paulolum<\/em>). He won\u2019t hesitate to wear a stocking over his head, military boots, and even carry a plastic rifle if necessary. Nor does the police officer hesitate to shove him into a cell while the suspect desperately shouts, \u201cOfficer! I\u2019m Leonardo DiCaprio!\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more Dr. No , Starring Dr. Anthony Fauci<\/a><\/p>\n

The officer grins, flaps his hands like a duck, and replies:<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry. You\u2019re talking to Donald Duck.\u201d<\/p>\n

READ MORE from Itxu D\u00edaz:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why the Best Conservative Is a Little Libertarian<\/strong><\/p>\n

Forest Bathing for Idiots<\/strong><\/p>\n

The New Reconquista: World Champions \u2014 and Something More<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A most wonderful article<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1258,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[89],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1259","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-summer-satire"],"yoast_head":"\nMeet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity - National Logistics Post<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Meet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity - National Logistics Post\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A most wonderful article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"National Logistics Post\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-08-01T04:15:05+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/af6e6ad9b3cf5bfe495dc5541ee6a5cc\"},\"headline\":\"Meet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-01T04:15:05+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259\"},\"wordCount\":1184,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/6e2b2727a2b9ad57e4d2e1bcd4341b1c.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Summer Satire\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259\",\"name\":\"Meet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity - National Logistics Post\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/6e2b2727a2b9ad57e4d2e1bcd4341b1c.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-08-01T04:15:05+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/af6e6ad9b3cf5bfe495dc5541ee6a5cc\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/6e2b2727a2b9ad57e4d2e1bcd4341b1c.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/08\\\/6e2b2727a2b9ad57e4d2e1bcd4341b1c.png\",\"width\":1536,\"height\":1024},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?p=1259#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Meet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"National Logistics Post\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/af6e6ad9b3cf5bfe495dc5541ee6a5cc\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/nationallogisticspost.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Meet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity - National Logistics Post","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Meet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity - National Logistics Post","og_description":"A most wonderful article","og_url":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259","og_site_name":"National Logistics Post","article_published_time":"2026-08-01T04:15:05+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/#\/schema\/person\/af6e6ad9b3cf5bfe495dc5541ee6a5cc"},"headline":"Meet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity","datePublished":"2026-08-01T04:15:05+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259"},"wordCount":1184,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/6e2b2727a2b9ad57e4d2e1bcd4341b1c.png","articleSection":["Summer Satire"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259","url":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259","name":"Meet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity - National Logistics Post","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/6e2b2727a2b9ad57e4d2e1bcd4341b1c.png","datePublished":"2026-08-01T04:15:05+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/#\/schema\/person\/af6e6ad9b3cf5bfe495dc5541ee6a5cc"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/6e2b2727a2b9ad57e4d2e1bcd4341b1c.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/6e2b2727a2b9ad57e4d2e1bcd4341b1c.png","width":1536,"height":1024},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?p=1259#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Meet the Five Species of Summer Celebrity"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/","name":"National Logistics Post","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/#\/schema\/person\/af6e6ad9b3cf5bfe495dc5541ee6a5cc","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com"],"url":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1259","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1259"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1259\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1258"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nationallogisticspost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}